Joining the ranks of Motherhood can be daunting. There is so much stigma with being a Mom. Which is why making a “Mom” friend can feel overwhelming and sometimes downright painful.
I was about 3 months postpartum when I spotted a Mom about my age at the park near my home, She too was front-packing a little babe. I immediately asked how old her little one was. We had a chat and suddenly a sense of desperation overtook me. I found myself wanting to be friends. So I went in for the kill with “I go to this great class you should check it out.” She looked at me like I was crazy and proceeded in the other direction. I felt so awkward after that interaction.
My daughter was six months old before I really made my first “Mom friends.” Sure I had friends with kids but they were in other states. As a somewhat extrovert I was struggling under my newfound isolation as a stay at home Mom. The more I spoke with other Mother’s I realized I was not alone.
Where should one meet the exclusive unicorn called a Mom friend? I am glad you asked! The following is a list of tips and tricks
- A nursing class. Good for new Mom’s whether you choose to nurse or not. Perfect for a new Mom desperate to find another
like minded Mom. While I never went this route I wish I had. It would have been a great resource for me even though I exclusively pumped. - A fitness class geared towards Mom’s. Is there a stroller workout, Mom Tribe or yoga class near you?
- A music or swim class for your child. Zumbini is a music class I have connected and found a few great Mom friends through.
- Facebook! I know it’s a bit dated but seriously some of the Mom groups on there are goldmines.
- Peanut: This is a free app and kind of like a dating app but instead it’s a friend app. While I haven’t had too much personal success using the app I still recommend it. Peanut gives you the option to fill in a profile and try and connect with likeminded Moms in your area. This app is especially great if you are working. https://peanut.app.link/nUOmO58lxY
- An indoor play park. A great place for your child to have other interactions besides you and a fun place to meet other moms.
- In-person out and about. While I personally struck out the first time I tried this method. It actually did pan out for me at the park. Make the first move. The worst someone can do is say no.
- Winnie: an app that has great forums on every topic regarding parenthood. While not really a place to make friends it does help to go on and read some of the posts other Mom’s make.
The following are a few suggestions to help inch you towards that new tribe of yours.
- Be open. I know it seems ridiculous to even write those two words. But write away I will. Mom’s friends come in all shapes and sizes. They might have different beliefs, be a different race, have a different background whether its job history or education. The point to this ramble is they are also a Mother. They probably have the same limited knowledge and trying their hardest to figure out how to get their baby to go the F to sleep too. If we want our kids to be open and accepting show them the way. Lead don’t preach!
- Give yourself and your new friend grace. Nap schedules, work schedules and life complicate playdates. Factor in illness and other life problems that may arise and suddenly your playdate is now two months delayed. This my friends is normal and okay. It doesn’t mean Susie Q suddenly doesn’t like you. So I say this again give grace. Your child may never get sick or is perfect at no routine. This is not the case for the majority of the rest of us.
- Be transparent. Your new mom friend is probably trying and struggling in adulthood just like you.
- Don’t force it. If you don’t like someone or feel awkward don’t subject yourself to more interaction. It’s okay to admit not everyone is going to be your cup of tea.
- Be kind